See the sky sparkling with diamonds.

2010-06-22T01:51:00.005+08:00

After suck, it gets sucky and after sucky it goes suckier and after suckier, i don't know what is it.
DEAD, LAGGING, TRIP.

2010-06-01T02:00:00.008+08:00

Well, look yourself in the mirror before saying anything bad about others. Dig your past and reflect. Why did someone do all this to you? Why did someone avoid you? Why did someone hit you back in a acting, lying ways? Figure it out yourself. No point blaming on the other party or whoever around you. You, yourself is the same. Don't blame people that you've lose trust and what so ever. Just look how ugly you are now. Look at you, how someone lose trust on you. How do you feel? Feel it now. Face yourself. Ask yourself why. You don't need people to tell you why. You heard everything from others about what had happen. You taught someone, not to assume. Why are you assuming now? Ask it yourself, in his/her face. You hate that bitch, why now you be friend with her? You mock and criticize at her in the past with your stinky mouth and now you act like a angel and be friend together. You giving people a bad name. You think you the only person who can do that? There is a lot more people out there can give you a bad name 10 times more. You want to play this game and keep the ball rolling, bring it on. We play it. Now you talk about god helping you. The last time, do you even think of god? Stop bull shitting. Stop wearing a mask. You are just showing people how good you are when behind them you turn to a witch. Sometimes, the good must be the bad one. And the bad must be the good one. Or maybe none of them You are a very good actress/actor infront of others. You lose it. And they make you really lose it. Think about it if you really want to learn. Think it yourself. You don't need other for help, you should know better. You are enjoying, so is everyone else.

2010-05-20T07:10:00.004+08:00

Fame is boring, bitch. Hiatus.

2010-04-21T21:53:00.006+08:00

You have been alone all this while. He knows it. He never show. He doesn't know how to do it just yet. Life have been jumble up and down. Wobbly like a jelly. Surrounding is just so mean to them. Get out of this town you people. Their life don't need you around. Yeah, past, go away. Wait, wait for the one you love. Maybe he is coming to you and let you have his hands back again. Not now, but one day.

2010-03-08T02:04:00.004+08:00

Somehow in life, you don't need someone to be there for you. To think that you're different, but there's nothing changed. It's all wronged. Stop your self-proclaimed that you're good, nice and everything. Look yourself into the mirror like how the witch did in 'Snow white'. Make up your mind. Come and go is a no way decision. Two-faced people out there in the world, be it a DUDE or a BABE. Stop everything. Reflect yourself. Learn. Life sucks, that is life. You won't get what you always wanted. Face it and life goes on. Nobody would want to lick back their own saliva once they spit it out on the floor. 'Washing you out of my head', go figure. Thanks for everything. A lesson to learn, 'Once bitten, twice shy.'

2009-12-20T03:48:00.002+08:00

Hiatus. Dead and gone for a long time.

2009-11-04T15:24:00.010+08:00

Look up at the clouds in the bright blue sky. I wish i could fly up to the sky and watch what each and everyone of you are doing with my very own eyes. I wish i could sit on the clouds and let out everything from my heart, all of it. ='(

2009-10-27T23:42:00.006+08:00

Whirlwind inside on my head. On hiatus. Cheers!

2009-09-15T18:08:00.009+08:00

Full of ups and down. Out of the house and in the house itself. Don't get it wrong. This situation seems to become from bad to worst. It tears deep inside without anyone knowing about it. Why do we have to face a lot of problems in life? Anything, be it family, friends and your love ones. Why? It's getting harder each day. This and that happen under one roof. Why can't we settle it down? It's been long time. How long more do you want to drag it? It's been happening since the last time and it's kinda alright but now, it sucks a lot. It keeps bothering in mind. What more it's not only that, after one another problems keep coming. Shits happen lately. Rumors, back stab your own pals, making their name bad, talking bad about them and make people not to like them or even hate them. It seems to be all wrong. Playing a two faced in front of your own friends. What do you gain? Answer it. Nothing at all. Hate is what you'll get. Keep it flowing and the more hate you get from people around you. Too much problems, it's just too much. Hari Raya is around the corner, family has turn upside down, it's kinda sad to see other family going out celebrating it together. How saddening. Guess, this year won't be like last time. Whatever it is, please settle down quick. I miss the last time like how we used to be. ='(

//Re-edited
And, siapa-siapa yang makan chilli, dia yang rasa pedas. As for the other who don't know what it means, go figure out from the malays. Let me start by saying, when you like someone, yes you start to date them, from there it grows, deeper and deeper. That's so sweet like a candy, as if. But, when bad things start to happen and different problems start to strike you down and you just can't seems to go on with it, you decide to give it all up. And yes, you gave it all up due to some reasons that you have, but, you already told your reason why. That's not just yet. The greatest part is, when it's already over, yes you said that if you want someone to be happy, you will just let them go for you want them to be happy. That's it. Surprised to hear a lot of thing from your stinky mouth. The one that close to you open up their own mouth. Clap hands for you babe. But you're bloody two faced girl too, same like the others. The thought was all wrong. It's changing from a person eyesight. Go on telling everybody different kind of shits. Making up your so called own stories. Thumbs up for whoever you are. And as for people out there, don't spread rumors like a virus. You only know how to listen to one part of the stories and never listen to the other party of the stories. And what more, you back up, because he/she is someone close to you. Well hell yeah, that's not a friend or a best friend, bitch/faggot. You don't know the meaning of it yet. So, don't step power. Hey, guess what, keep it flowing like what people said, and the more hate you will get. Cheers.

2009-09-13T19:40:00.004+08:00

That's how ugly you are now. You've been mark by someone. You ask for it and there is a no way back.

2009-09-08T22:49:00.004+08:00

HIATUS

Will be right back sooner or later, keep the tag board rolling and i'll be replying tags. Take care everyone.

2009-09-07T19:04:00.010+08:00

Let fate decide for our life. Everything is in a mess right now. If they are fated, then just let them be. If not, just move on in life, don't ever give up. It's really tough, we all know that. There will be left with a scar and it really hurts a lot. Life, be strong and keep going. Don't hit the pause or stop button. Keep it playing.

//Re-edited
Problems here and there. Character and attitude, both fuck up. Rumors and shits. happen. Gossip without finding the truth. Some of you know and some do not know about it at all. And it's not just that, there's more than what it seems. Rumors came out from your own mouth, you told your own friend about it and it start to spread like a virus. I can't put it in words. I don't know how to say. It's just too much. A lot of things happened, just face it. Same goes to all of us in this world. That goes to you and me. I'm sorry if i hurt you. I'm giving up already. You're good and i'll pray for you, wherever you go. I'm sorry, move on please. I feel like shit now and it's sucks. I be fine day after day pass by. Smile always, throw away those memories. Screwed up already. Goodbye now.

2009-09-06T01:40:00.007+08:00

What the hell? You hate him much huh? Well, what did he do to you people? You criticize him, mock at him, calling him names, backstabbed and create a bad story about him behind his back. Pretend to be close to him and all kind of shit. You got a motive didn't you? Fuck it. Give in to you people, you act as if you're a somebody now. You can pissed him off and he cannot pissed you off. What shit is that? He sit and keep quiet eventhough you pissed him off everytime. Bet, you didn't even know when he get pissed off. You're a idiot. Find a dark room, sit there alone and think, at times when he's pissed off, why he never raise his voice or bash you up when he know he could do all that. Why? Because he treasure friendship and don't want it to break apart. You people didn't even think of that don't you, fag. If you do, you won't pissed them off everytime as and when you like. Who the hell are you? Did your parent raise you up to be like this? Mocking, criticizing and stuff. Fuck you, think about it. Patience, everyone have it. Don't you dare cross the line. You won't even know what is going to happen next. You are getting more nearer crossing the line, try do it and you face it, fag! Don't give a shit to this kind of people who only know how to think for themself and not others. A happy big 'Fuck you', to you! Have a great day ahead!

2009-09-03T16:08:00.009+08:00

Problems? Well yeah, fuck it. He got a problem, she got a problem, you got a problem, they got a problem well fuck shit, everyone got a problem. Well, he got his own fucking problem and why must you acting as if you also got a problem. Coincidence must be your answer, right? Fuck you, it's funny but he is not laughing at all. He never even smile. You are just making situation more hard for him, more pissed, suck and everything. Telling people this and that and all kind of shits. Fuck to you people who think it's unfair. You don't even know anything, better stop acting as if you know everything. You're not a god, bitch! Fuck you, stop pretend to be so called a 'Caring Person'. People like you just sucks to the core. I hope i have a gun and i'll pull off the trigger shoot you people down.

P/S: I don't need a fucking comment from any of you, bitch.

2009-09-01T01:14:00.006+08:00

Come on, it's been so long. Let's get ink and stretch your lobe. Tattoos and 30mm, please come quick.

2009-08-29T01:40:00.010+08:00

Turn off. What is wrong with you? Yes, screening is your job we all know that. But, when we say, no we did not do any shits and all, why must you force us to say, yes we do it. Do you get what i'm try to say here? Well, i'm afraid not. What happened earlier on, just because of tattoos and you make it such a big issue. Tattoos, for them, some are body arts and some are not. You can see it for yourself. And just now, you are like forcing me to say it's related to gang when it's not. I don't even have a gang logo or whatever shit it is. Is that really your job? Forcing people around you and scold them as if you're their parents. Yes, you want this lion city to be safe and sound. Is this the way? Or, you don't have any other way to keep it safe? Are you that stupid? Can't even think of something else? To you, the one with tattoos are the troublemaker, it's not really you know. Wake up please. Let me shoot you with this question, what if, Ami James, Kim Saigh and David Beckham were to be here in this lion city, will you do the same to them? I don't think so! And you gangster, stop it and get a life. Please change your ways and repent. Go laser off your tattoos. Because of you people, those who with tattoos is also mark as a gangster like you. This shits will keep going on, until you gangster die.

I'm not being myself lately. Different kind of shits happen almost everyday, i guess. Fuck you. What's wrong with you? I don't even know why. Stop asking me. Why bother so much? Stop it, don't act as if you care. Don't act as if you know everybody in this world. Fling around here and there, everywhere. Fuck me? No, just fuck you. Everything is in a mess now. You all don't really know what's happening here. Mood change easily nowadays. I don't even know why. Problems keep coming. Come and go just like that. After one another. I put on a smile or maybe a fake smile and joke around sometimes because i don't even want to show it to you people. I don't even want to spoil you mood. Some may know and some may not know why. It's not like as if i want to tell the whole world whats going on. I don't even want you people to think that i want sympathy and whatever shit you got in your mind. Argh! Stop it, stop everything. Stay far away, from now on, please. Come on, let's run. Run faraway, to a place where no one can find me or maybe scream my lungs out at the middle of the sea. But how to? Sick of everything.

//Re-edited

2009-08-28T02:56:00.013+08:00

Everybody is different in this globe. Not all of them are the same. They all have their own style. They are all different. Different in character, different in attitude. And they are different in everything. Just don't compare people around you. You got no right at all. Please try to understand. And ask yourself this, what if you're being compare with others, will you like it? Ask yourself that and do some thinking about it. You will get your own answer.

2009-08-27T09:48:00.006+08:00

It's not my day. Currently pissed off. With everything. Family and friends. Or maybe, even with you. This is what i meant by giving you people a face and you fucking step my head real hard. You've cross the line. I had enough of it. You pissed me off. Down with no mood. And thanks for making me got no mood with everyone now. There is a limit in everyone's patience, for fuck sake, you know that don't you. I had enough of giving you people a face. The more i give, the more you people step on it. Well, you get what you deserve now. How's the taste of my fist that land in your fucking face several time? You want more, than just continue doing it. I don't really care how big you are fag/slut. Even how fucking somebody you are. Just simply test me, i'll haunt you down. Even if i fall, i'll stand on my own fucking feet again just to haunt you. You don't know me well enough just yet, everyone. Except the one that are really close to me and they know me well enough. Had a problem with that? Hate me much for that? Well then, fuck you. I can be independent. And to you, don't fucking pissed me off with shits. I'm not angry with you and you better not let me get angry with you. This is just fucking me. This is one of the reason that i'm not ready for anything. Not happy with it? Scared about it? Well, in a good way, this is what i can say, find someone else, might be better. A lot of problem in myself and others around. Sometimes i got the thought of ending everything now, if you want to know. This is all my thought, you don't have to get emotional or take it seriously. The fact, i'm giving myself a chance and it's really hard. I'm standing here on my own feet. Enduring it by myself. Please, don't make me end everything. Be good! And that's all i got for you.

P/S: If there's a episode one, there will be a episode two. Try it and you get what you deserve.

2009-08-26T06:24:00.005+08:00

Hell yeah, he's cool! Come on, bring it on. It's been so long since i had a tattoo done. The picture up there, he have a tattoo all over, doesn't mean he is bad. That goes to everyone around you in this globe. You don't know them and you got no right to judge them by how they look. Yes, they may look scary and all kind of stuff. Try knowing them and you'll know how are they. It's up to them to tattoo them self, it's their life anyway. Or maybe it's their interest, you won't know. If you want people to love you, then you better learn to love people around you. No matter how scary, bad or whatever negative things they are, they are still a human being just like you. They may repent one day and you wouldn't know. Maybe it's not the time yet, one day, they will realize it. I'm sure some of your pals do have a tattoo on them. Right?

2009-08-23T18:15:00.008+08:00

Stop acting as if you know everything. You're being two-face in front of everyone's eye. Stop acting as if you know everything. Stop being so proud of yourself. So what if you're rich and you can get whatever you want. So what if you're handsome/pretty and they are ugly? So what if others are fat/skinny? So what if you're clever and they're damn stupid? You think it's right for you to criticize them? You think you're a big shot? Well then, big fat 'F' word in your face. There's a lot of different people in this globe. Not all of them are perfect. Not even me, not even you and not even everyone. Appreciate what you got in this world. Have a heart on other people around you. Care for their feelings. They got feeling, everyone have feeling. Even an animal have it. Trade shoe's with them, feel how they feel deep inside. Feel it, are they happy? Or are they sad? Think about it. Lock yourself up in a room and do some soul searching. By the way, mine is size 7, let's see if you can fit your feet in.

Here i got something to share. I took a lot of courage to share it here. It's not a show off or whatever you think it is. What you going to read is nothing to be proud of. Nothing to feel good about it. And not a somebody. Instead i feel ashamed about it. This thinking keep coming at night when i want to sleep. I'm kinda worried about it. All of my past things that i've been through. Yes, i admit, i'm not a good guy, the opposite of it. I've done thing that against law. I've been caught several times. I've been sentence to probation on March, 1 year 3 month for not paying a fine. Yes, i'm happy at least i'm outside. I've done great. Great for only like 1 and the half month. After that, i was caught again. For stealing and snatch theft. I'm caught at home right in front of my family. In my mother eye's, i can see that she wanted to cry. I'm ashamed for face her with a handcuff on myself. I was brought to station. They note down my statement and i'm of. Of to court, the place which i hate the most. Face a angry judge. i was send to remand for a month to wait for my next court date. Yes, i was a second timer there. I'm use to it. Doing everything the same in remand. Morning call, brush teeth, breakfast, PT (Physical Training), watch television or play games like carom, dumb or read books. Noon call, lunch, watch television, play games or read books. Evening call, bathe, dinner, watch television, play games or read books and then lights off at 9 p.m. You see, we did that everyday. Everything turn out to be fun when we're in there and make a lot of friends. Time pass, my court date have reached. I was scolded by judge. Yes i deserve it and i was sentence 1 year in SBHL (Singapore boy's hostel) and serve my 3 months of probation. When i got there, i ask my mum not to worry much, i'll be fine. She just scared that i can't live in there. I saw different kind of people. They were just like me, serving their sentence in there. Yes, i've made friends in there. The good and the bad. My first night, i just can't sleep and i did teared for i miss home and i miss my mum the most. Well what can i do, i can't runaway like that, i want it to end quickly. It's not that easy people. There, we did a lot of things. Bathe in the morning, master check, had breakfast, some going to school, read books, wait for noon call, master check, lunch. play games or read book, PT or games like soccer, basketball or takraw, bathe then dinner. Night call, master check, watch television and lights off at 9p.m. Some of them did go school and some did not for they're suspended as for me, i was staying there for 6 month without going to school for my school didn't want me back due to my tattoos and records. I do go home on weekend and have to be back SBHL by 7p.m on Sunday. Sometime, i don't get to go home at all due to statement. After December 2006 early January 2007 then i got to school. I retain my secondary 4, wasted. Here is how i go to school. I woke up at 4.30a.m, bathe and all then take my breakfast then at 5.45a.m i leave for school. I got a traveling time which is 1 hour 30 minute. In school, i was suppose to bring this jotter book every single day. D.M (Discipline Master) asked me to bring it and end of every lesson, from 8a.m till 2p.m, form teacher have to put a remarks and sign and at the end of the day D.M have to see it. I have to do it for 2 month. I was doing great in school. That's just for a while. Back in hostel, i was charge with things, statement and stuff. I was put in C.S (Segregation Cell) the most 1 week for punishment. In C.S, there is where i bathe, eat and sleep. I've been there for the 3rd time. First, attention of racial riot, second mastermind for urinating on people's bed and third bully. To you, this case are just small, back in hostel, it's a huge case that can make you fly to SBH (Singapore Boy's Home) for 2 year's. After the second case, they've been aiming me. And the third, i know something is not right. I knew they going to breech me. Clerk, stuff and hostel boy's have been talking about it. When i got down from C.S, i can't go home and they suspend me not to attend school. I have to stay there. Weekend, there no chance for me to go home. But there's a 30 minute parent visit. I ask stuff i wanted to call mum, stuff allowed me but i can't use long. I sadly told her everything what i did. She cried on the phone saying she will visit me and lastly she said, if you don't think about discharge, it's alright, but think of your own mum. And then i put down the phone and my tears slowly drop. I wipe it for i don't want anybody to see. The next day, mum visit me, she ask random things like what i eat, how am i doing and stuff. After we done talking, she going home, i send her near the gate, she turn and asked me to take care of my own self and then she give me a hug saying the same thing what she said on the phone. She said think of your mum. There, i can feel that i've really made her sad. I felt really sad and there my tears dropped. I was sobbing and the stuff give me a hug and ask me to chill. After a week or two, i was getting ready for my court day. I was breech and have to go back to court. Mum fetch me early in the morning and it's a heavy rain. I pity her. I said goodbye to the boy's and stuff. I knew i wouldn't be coming back there. Back to when i've reach the court, my mind is spinning around and i'm scared. What if i got to SBH for 2 years? And then, i thought of running away from court. I did tell mum about it and she answered me by saying, until when i'm going to run and hide? You won't know what your sentence, what if it's just a short sentence? After hearing that, i changed my mind. The judge had call for me. Before going in, the officer asked me to take out my watch and all and for that, i know i'll be in the lock up cell. I was scolded by judge again and my thought was right, lock up cell. From there, i was brought to remand for the third time. For that, i won't story much, it's the same thing, only that some of the remandees was shocked that i was a third timer. Day pass and my sentence day came. I was back to court again and was sentence to short term 1 month 2 week in SBH and my probation was extended. From 3 month to 9 month. I thank god for that. In SBH, It's a little different from SBHL. It's tougher then i thought. I endure it. The 2 week 1 time parent visit, PT, stuff and all the boys. Some were my friends and i live with it. After 1 month 2 week, my discharge day came. I shake the hand of the stuff and my social worker. My social worker is scared for me. He don't know whether i can make it outside with my tattoos all over. Deep inside me, yes a little sad about it, because he don't trust me and i'll prove it that i can. I was free from cage and i continue my school and my probation. And now, i've ended my probation a years back April 2008.

This thought come and go in my head a lot of time at night before i'm going to sleep. I feel scared about it. Sometimes, yes, i do feel like crying. To think back that, i've been wasting my time. Mixing with the wrong company. Doing things that break the law. I've hurt my family a lot, especially my mum. When i do all that, i didn't even think of her. When i was in there, i've been thinking how is she now. Is she fine? Parent visit, she didn't even forget to visit me and cook my favorite dish. Never fail to ask me how am i. It's pain to see her cry. Seriously, it's really painful to see your love ones shed a tear for you. It really breaks your heart. Until now, sometimes i know she get worried about me for going out and scared i repeat it again. I'm sorry for that. I know i have not been good the last time, but this time, i really did learn from my lesson. I get scared easily now. Scared that i'll be back in there again. I wouldn't want to get back to my own self again. I wouldn't want to do it anymore. I've washed my hands, totally. I'm not proud of it. It's a stupid and shameful thing. I really hope i can go on smoothly down the road with a guide from my love ones, family and friend around me. They gave me advice and all, asking me to change my life, knocking sense in my head and all. Without them, i won't be like who i am here right now. Everyone can change. It's the matter of time and your own self. And to mum, i'm sorry for everything for my past, i want to forget it, but i can't. It come and go just like that at night. I won't do it anymore. I won't repeat my mistakes. I know, action speaks louder than word. I'm going to show you. This i promise you mum. I love you. =(

2009-08-21T23:06:00.006+08:00

Runaway. You try to find a place where you can hide yourself. Where you can be all alone. Hide from people around you. Hide everything from them. Keeping almost everything to yourself. Deep inside you, it's really painful. You know that yourself. By running away from it, did anything solve? No is the answer. You're just making situation worst. You're only hurting yourself and people around you. You wouldn't want to share it and you think that it would be easier for them. But you're all wrong. You're only making them worried, sad. Sad to see you acting this way. Especially your love ones. They do care for you. Gather your guts to share it. Don't be scared. Turn to your love ones, your family and friends. They are always there for you when you're in need. You'll feel better.

2009-08-17T16:27:00.006+08:00

Disturbance. You get annoyed and irritated. It's part of laughter to some of them. So they could giggle around with people around. What about the others? Ever think of that? What about their feelings? Ever think of that? They feel great and laugh out loud with one another. But, you here, deep inside, it feels like a razor blade cut through your skin. They keep on doing it and you could just sit there and just can't be bothered. You keep it inside all alone and not sharing it with them. Until one day they keep on doing it and they realize that whenever it start, you just sat there and keep mum. Do you want to fight with them and let all of it gone just like that? So, what can you do? Nothing and just sit there on your own and keep mum. They start to gossip and calling you names. What can you do? Still, nothing at all. Why, because you love them and don't want to lose anyone of them. Bare this in mind, before you start gossip, think, why they're always like that. They can actually fight and put their fist in your face, just that they don't want it to happen. And put the question, 'Why?' in your head and the answer, 'Because they love you.' Do some soul searching and figure it out yourself.

2009-08-16T01:21:00.010+08:00

For what say you try. And nothing is done. Gotcha! You're caught in action. Playing a attitude game here, we stick to it. Fuck this feeling and everything. Yeah, feel like want to end everything now. On the spot. Right here. Got no confident at all. None is there. Who you want to blame? Me, yourself or everyone? Their fault, mine or yours? Do some soul searching and figure it out. Someone said i grow fatter. Like finally and i hate it to the core. Anyway, yes looks like i have to go on a diet starting from now. Cut down on everything, watch what i eat and i mean it.

2009-08-14T01:15:00.007+08:00

Wherever you are, you always get haunt. Speak now or forever you'll be like this. Do not just sit there and keep quiet. Shoot it all out and hit the bull eyes. Win or lose, it's normal, nothing to be ashamed of. Sometime we win, sometime we lose and sometime we even draw. So don't just sit there, get your ass up and do it, don't be afraid of it. When you fall, don't go back, go forward. Don't hit the pause button, keep on playing. Just move on and don't stop, people.

2009-08-12T21:27:00.010+08:00

You are walking through time. Taking small steps, through the life of yours. Do you really know, where are you now? Where will you go through out your life? Is it a illusion or reality? You don't really know. Days passes by. After long it'll be a year gone. You've been face with life's hopes and life's fears. Life's problems it is. Problems with your own self or with people around you. Not just that, it's more than what you think. You keep watching and waiting, just looking on before you knew it, your whole life will be gone soon. What for you wait? You'll be doing nothing. You're just wasting your life. Do something about it. Learn about life and the meaning of love. Not just sit there with a tears of pain deep inside you. Choose your path. The good or the bad way. You're the one who decide. Take a chances, make your choices. It's you. Think of this words, live your life. Don't be shy. Let your life begin.

2009-08-10T03:10:00.005+08:00

Life is some sort like a highway. Full with people weaving in and out. You speed up and then sometimes, you slow down. It's full of traffic. There might be a construction or even get jam down there. There are obstacles to face. But all the time you've been riding in your life. Let nothing get in your way or even let your close and love ones run or go away. So wherever your highway takes you, wherever you're riding and obstacles may come to you, do not ever give up do not ever hurt your love ones. Your highway always leads you home safe and sound. Trust and have a confident in yourself.

2009-08-07T01:48:00.010+08:00

Change is our only way out. Get out of the stupid mess. The mess that we usually are responsible for. One way or the another. The way is to change yourself. There might be consequence. You won't know. Consequence will either make or break us apart. It will even break your love ones apart. You will regret it for sure. Change before it's too late. Change is our own decision. It goes the way we do, the way we want it. People just can't change you. You, yourself that can. Look around you. Open your eyes wide. And decide yourself. To go this way, or that way? Think about it. Don't waste your life just like that. Treasure it and think of your love ones. Do not hurt them or even let them shed a tears. Belief in yourself that you can change. It's your own choice.

"When there's a will, there's a way. It's up to you, yourself."

2009-08-05T20:22:00.009+08:00

Problems appear in many kind of ways. They come in all shapes and sizes. You'll get sad, angry and a lot more. The question to throw is, what can you do. You can ignore them. But will they go away. No, they won't go away. They will still be there the following day. If you try to be strong you can put up a fight. If you deal with them now things will turn out right. You won't get disturb. You will not be blamed. Try your best not to feel ashamed. Learn to share it. There is nothing to gain by closing your eyes. Share your worries with someone who can be trusted. Your love one's. At least you can cut them in half. Soon you'll be smiling, you'll again learn to laugh. Never turn to drinking. If you're thinking of doing it, stop and think. Yes, everything is out when you're tipsy. But, nothing is done. You never even try to solve it. When you're fine after that, you'll become aware. Nothing has changed, your problem's still there. The answers to your problems are all in you. We will all face problems at some point in life. It'll just hurt us even more if we try to ignore. Your problems is in the palm of your hand. Settle it. Convince yourself. Make a stand. Face it in life. The fact, your life will be much better. There is no problem that cannot be solve. They can be solve. It's up to you. You can shout and scream your lungs out. Maybe you'll feel better. Problems are real. Everyone have it. Deal with them fast. So they'll no longer hurt you. And they will be in your past. Learned, there's no need be afraid of. Overcome it.

P/S: Don't repeat the same mistakes. Hope you're doing well dude. I'm always here for you.

2009-08-04T12:36:00.010+08:00

Stay the way you are now.
Or even more worst than this.
Keep on doing it until you're happy.
Until you're satisfied maybe.
But, you stay away from me.
Just stay far away from me.
Keep it rolling and i play apart.
It's getting started already.

2009-08-03T03:43:00.005+08:00

There are people who will hurt us and cause pain.
But we must learn to try to forgive and forget.
There are mistakes we will make every single day.
And we must learn from the wrong and not repeat it.
There are regrets we will have to live with.
But we must learn to leave the past behind us.
And learn that it is something that we can't change.
There are people who will lose forever and can't have it back.
But we must learn to let it go and move our ass on.
Not by sitting there and become a sober.
There are going to be obstacles down the road where ever we go.
And we must learn to overcome it and be strong.
Not by surrender or giving it up half way.
There are fears that will hold us back from what we always want.
We must learn to fight them with our own courage.

"Everything happen for a reason. The good and the bad, nobody know's."

2009-08-01T21:56:00.005+08:00

Life is like a journey.
A walk across the sand.
Who will you take with you?
Who will hold your hand?
Where will beaches lead you?
What treasures will you find?
The journey that last forever.
A story that can't be rewind.
Will you follow others?
The footprints that you find.
Or will you yourself make a trail.
For others to follow behind you.
Challenges you may meet ahead.
A obstacles in your way.
You will definately defeat them.
And move along your way.
When you walk you take with you.
Your family and friends.
For they are your love ones.
You leave behind your footprints.
In the story that never ends.

2009-07-30T23:35:00.005+08:00

The damning stuck in throat.
Cut them like a razor blade.
Wouldn't want to show it.
For it dislike the world to know it.

From different thought.
It's changing to the another.
Feelings jumble around another.
Don't know what it is right now.

It lives upon doubts.
It becomes madness.
Some sort of anger.
Feel like spitting.

It's more frightful than laughter.
The ugliest things on earth.
And it drink up your spirit.
Find it out yourself.

2009-07-30T12:37:00.005+08:00

Have a problem with that fag?
Can't help it, screw yourself up.
Shut the hell up and get a life please.
Sad for parents to see you being like this.

"If you want people to love you, do your job and love people around you."

2009-07-26T14:07:00.006+08:00

Sick.
Go away please.
Hate you to the core.

2009-07-25T01:35:00.004+08:00

When can i get to meet you Pixie?

2009-07-23T16:22:00.006+08:00

What's the point of disturbing others.
If you, yourself can't be disturb.
What's the point of teasing them.
If you can't be tease by others.
For you it's fair but, not for them.
You thought you're somebody.
You thought they are sissy.
You thought it's great to do that.
You thought they can't do anything.
You thought they got no guts at all.

Fuck you and your world.
You get it wrong here.
They're just giving you face.
They're trying to avoid trouble.
They just don't want to show it.
There's a limit, dude.
The limit in patience.
You got it all wrong.
Try stepping on my head.
And i'll show you what i've got.

Bring it on.
Face yourself in the mirror.
You got the wrong person.
Here i'm telling you, dude.
When the right time comes.
Don't you cry like a baby.
I'll make you face it.
I myself will show you.
You're just an inch away.
Inch away from losing my patience.

2009-07-22T02:38:00.003+08:00

Don't hold back.
The problem that you had in life.
Let it loose and you'll feel better.
You got you're whole life ahead of you.
There's no time to waste.
Treasure your life.
Get out there people.
Make your life great.

2009-07-20T06:58:00.004+08:00

See the taught from your eyes.
The way you criticize them.
Being a hypocrite.
Saying them ugly.
And all of it.
Sew your mouth.

Put yourself in their shoes.
See what it's like to be them.
And please, let them be you.
Trade shoes together with them.
See what it'd be like to feel pain.
Feel theirs, go inside your minds.

They're just fucked up.
Just stay true to yourself.
Don't let people say you ain't beautiful.
Believe that everyone around you, are beautiful.
Each and every way of it.
You are beautiful.

2009-07-19T02:25:00.004+08:00

I love to see you smile.
I love to see you happy.
I love to see you laugh.
I love it when you touch me.
I love it when you hold my hand.
I love it when you tease and disturb me.
I love how i feel now.
I love the feelings i had for you.

I love so many things about you.
But the most important thing is that, I Love You!

2009-07-18T01:55:00.005+08:00

Fake a smile so that nobody see.
The pain inside that hide.
Don’t want to hurt you.
Should not be unheard nor want to lie.
It's tearing apart not knowing what to do.

Nobody knows with what i'm going through.
Feel weak and unstable.
It's hard to speak.
Cannot bare all this inside.
The more i cover it up, the more it hurts.

2009-07-17T02:19:00.004+08:00

Not being own self lately. Down with no mood at times.
Have been keeping it for long. Have his own reasons.
It might hurt you. Stupid feelings. Stupid thoughts.
Come and go just like that. Don't even know why.
Full of question mark in head.

Scared of the past. Scared it might happen.
Again, again and again. Once bitten twice shy.
Had enough of it. Losing confident.
Relationship and you. All because of those past.
Nothing to do with others. Don't get it wrong.

Blame own self. Not blaming others.
Disliking bad appearance. Didn't think twice.
Before doing anything. No use regretting.
Trying to ignore it. Just go on.
It's hard now. It might be better in the future.

All of this happened before. Mind spinning.
Character different. Lose everything.
Confident. Trust. Lies all over.
Don't want to be alone. How to, when all this is there.
Try to get over it slowly please. =(

2009-07-16T00:00:00.003+08:00

You really don't know or had any idea.
How much words can hurt people around.
You've said something.
You can't take back just like that.

How about their feeling.
It hurts and bleeds by a wrong knife.
You won't know anything.
Or wouldn't even bother to know.

Nothing can be unsaid.
Learn how to hold your tongues.
You will never know.
How much your words will hurt.

2009-07-15T02:01:00.004+08:00

You always want what you can’t have.
You never thank about what you have.
You cry and whine about your past.
But you didn’t even care, when you had a chance.

You didn't think, before you act.
And that’s why no one has your back.
You think it's you, against the world.
But, you’re the one, who chose to be like this.

You must belief in yourself.
Get some help, and be realistic.
Don’t judge others, let them be
They are what they are.

You need to get up, on your feet.
The past is done, learn from mistakes.
You are the one, who change your fate.
Try to change your ways, so that others won't hate.

2009-07-13T17:34:00.006+08:00

A bad person do things negatively.
A good person do things positively.
A bad person curse others all the time.
A good person cares about others all the time.
A bad person talk in rudely manner.
A good person talk with polite.
A bad person sing along with the wrong faults.
A good person sets others on the right track.

And there's more.
You know it yourself.
Look doesn't even matter.
It's all bullshit.

Doesn't mean a clean look person, they're always good.
Doesn't mean with a dirty drawings all over person body, they're always bad.
They may look real clean from the outside, deep inside them, you won't know.
They may look real bad due to their dirty drawings from the outside, deep inside them, you won't know.

You won't know until you know them.
Stop judging them by how they look.
Doesn't mean the good, is always going to be good.
Doesn't mean the bad, is always going to be bad.

People change, it takes time.
It won't change on the spot.
Stop all this criticizing.
You're making people around hate you.

Yes, learn to make them love you.
Love them for who they are.
Advice them is enough.
Learn to except them.

Don't feel guilty.
Not blaming anybody.
Blaming own self.
Didn't think twice.

You got no choice.
No time to turn back.
Stop thinking about it.
Just go with the flow right now.

2009-07-11T02:29:00.005+08:00

Mistakes.
Big and small mistakes were made.
At the same time, you'll learn form it.
Learn your lesson and don't repeat it.

Life is always full of mistakes.
Nobody is perfect in this world.
All of them do make mistakes.
You'll learn more from the mistakes that you've made.

You've messed up your life once.
Doesn't mean that within time, you can't find a way.
A way to change to be a better person and show it to all of them.
You can find a way if you just belief in yourself.

No use regretting.
In between you, there's a lot of mistakes.
Everyday is a brand new day.
And a new day is the another chance to change.

2009-07-09T23:26:00.004+08:00

Try listening to music.
Try looking at pictures.
Might be out of sight.
But never out of mind.

Look up to the night sky.
Remember, take it as a stars.
Sometimes you can't see them.
But they are always there for you.

2009-07-08T00:18:00.004+08:00

How much have you won?
How much have you gave?
How much have you done?
How much have you sacrificed?

Are you good or are you bad?
Are you happy or are you sad?
Are you perfect or are you not?
Are you alone or are you together?

Couldn't figure out the answer.
All this questions stuck in your head.
Or maybe you don't even know the answer.
It's takes time, one day you'll know it yourself.

Walk along your journey.
No matter how far it is.
No matter how hard it is.
Don't you ever give it up.
You'll learn something through out your journey.

2009-07-06T23:27:00.006+08:00

It's the past.
Stop finding please.
Threw it long time ago.
Had enough of that life.
Nothing good about it.
Grabbing innocent people.
Beat them up as and when you like.
Killing them with what you got in your hands.

Feeling good about it.
Didn't think what if it happens to you.
Killing is your life.
Being proud about it.
It's a no for goodness sake.
Stop being proud of it.
Stop hurting the innocent.
Staring is not wrong, they have eyes.

Stop finding fault for nothing.
Let them find you.
Stand your ground. (Green street hooligan)
Don't just sit there if they find you.
Haunt them down.
Give them all you got and show them who you are.
You're not a coward or a nerd who always get bullied.
Don't think that you don't know what to do.

Doesn't mean you drop, you always going to drop.
Everyone will have their first fight in life. :)

2009-07-06T01:53:00.004+08:00

Road of life.
Full of twist and turn.
Not all directions is the same.
Focus on journey not destinations.

You'll learn something.
On your journey not destination.
It might be a very long miles away.
Let it begin with a single step at a time.

Decide your life on your own.
Don't lean or rely on anybody.
Do not give excuses.
Try doing it yourself.

2009-07-05T02:47:00.004+08:00

A lot of shits happen in life.
Making the right or the wrong decision.
The good and the bad things keep happening.
Won't always get what you want.

Mind spinning round and round.
Figuring what's going to happen.
The good or the worst outcome.
Seriously, nobody will know.

Stay as strong as you can.
Don't fall on your knees.
Please don't shed a tears.
Especially to someone that don't really care about you.

Whatever is going to happen, just let it happen.
Let it go and drive our road back to happiness.
Just accept it and keep smiling like how you used to be.
One step at a time and then, just keep moving on.

2009-07-03T02:56:00.009+08:00

Family is a heaven in this heartless globe.
Family light up your life in every single way.
They are the sweetest thing on earth.
Where happiness is all around.

Putting your arms around each other and being there.
Spending time with each other every single day.
Joking around with each other until we laugh out loud.
Sharing problems with each other and giving some advice.

Where's all that?
Gone away just like that?
Full of question mark everywhere.
May look happy and act as if people don't even care.

Deep inside, do you know?
Do you even know how people feel?
It's killing inside for goodness sake.
Why must all this keep happening?

Don't know what to do now.
People is staying strong here.
Mind is spinning like a roller coaster.
Preparing for the worst outcome instead of the good.

2009-07-01T02:23:00.004+08:00

Here's a survey.
Fikri want me to do.

Question 1: What's your room colour?
Answer: Greenish turqoise.

Question 2: What's your actual height?
Answer: 1.65cm. I guess. I forgot but, i know i'm taller than Wee-man.

Question 3: If you are told to get married quick, what will you do?
Answer: 50-50. Still want to enjoy life, get a suitable and proper job to support mama and do what i want to do.

Question 4: If your boyfriend or sister(s) would say " break up", what's your reaction?
Answer: Don't be such a busybody. I'm in a relationship, not you.

Question 5: If your brother would be in jail, what will you do?
Answer: Visit him everyday and give him a piece of mind if im good. Or maybe accompany him in jail if i'm sick of my life.

Question 6: If your boyfriend or girlfriend would end up in hospital & in coma, what will you do?
Answer: Visit them as and when i'm free.

Question 7: If you saw someone stripless whats your first reaction?
Answer: Get shock and will go, "Next time wear shirts and pants if you're outside or i'll call the police."

Question 8: Last person you chat with?
Answer: Sofieyana.

Question 9: Whose the last peron who texted you and what?
Answer: Sofieyana. "Hey sweets, eventhough we're apart for like few hour now, guess what! Imy luh silly. Hehs. Okay shhh. :)"

Question 10: What's on your playlist now?
Answer: Lily elle ft. Nurul - Red red wine.

Question 11: The last thing you ever brought at a shop?
Answer: I think i forget.

Question 12: What's the most silly/cute thing your boyfriend or girlfriend last did?
Answer: Not girlfriend, but my date. The way she disturb me. Example, "Faez nak bende nie tak?" And i go "Nak!" And then she go, "Wek!" Haha. Cute for me.

Question 13: It's white and sticky. what is it?
Answer: It's milk maid. 'Susu pekat' for those who don't know.

Question 14: A romantic dream. Would you like it to be happen to you?
Answer: Obviously no. Because when you dream it turns out to be opposite.

Question 15: Give 10 people that you wish to do this survey.
Answer: Bod Marley, Aaliyah, Michael Jackson, Bruce Lee, Mother Terresa, Mohandas Gandhi, Marilyn Monroe, William Shakespears, Mozart and Albert Einstein.

Question 16: Right now, what you wish to be happening to you?
Answer: Wish to stay as young as always.

Question 17: If you caught boyfriend or girlfriend in red handed in having affair?
Answer: Don't want to be a sober like before. I'll give them a big fat 'F' word in her face and shout suck his balls bitch. Hate you much! That's for you girlfriend.

Question 18: If your mum gave you a thousand dollars, what will you do?
Answer: Enlarge ear lobe to 30mm, tattoos, assesories for now. The rest save, so i can use it when i need it.

Question 19: Right now, what are you thinking?
Answer: I'm thinking of things to think.

Question 20: What is a thing that you want to burn so much, right now?
Answer: Burn all unwanted things.

Question 23: Do you wish someone to be by your side, right now?
Answer: Yes. Muss. So i can laugh out loud with him around this time.

Question 24: Which country would you want to go?
Answer: Los Angeles. Want to meet Kat Von D and Pixie.

Question 25: Would you ever wish to kiss someone else?
Answer: I wish i could. To my love one's.

Question 26: Your friend list, if you would lost one friend what will you do and who?
Answer: Don't want that to happen especially, bestfriends. And i'm sure they will come back. True friends stays with you.

Question 27: If there's young baby on your doorstep, what will you do?
Answer: Shock and carry that young baby and take care of it. So i can bully that young baby.

Question 28: If your girlfriend or boyfriend got you pregnant, what will you do?
Answer: Obviously take care and be responsible for my wrong doing.

Question 29: What's the last sweet thing your loved ones ever did to you?
Answer: She bought me food to eat cause she know i've not yet eaten.

Question 30: What would you want to happen the next morning you woke up?
Answer: A wide smile from mama. But too bad, she's working in the morning and i always wake up late.

2009-06-30T00:17:00.004+08:00

Every person has their own Karma.
It based on people decisions.
Actions made or intends to make by them.
Every cause that you did, there is an effect.
It has nothing to do with rewards or punishments.
Don't want it to be done to yourself, do not do to others.

Still committing different sorts of shits.
Claiming yourself that you wouldn't lie.
Claiming yourself that you being faithful.
How long can you lie, you liars.
How long can you hide it.

Stop poisoning up people's mind.
Stop making them love you badly.
When you yourself don't really love them.
Stop thinking of relationship if this happening.
Stop day dreaming of it.

Watch what you're thinking.
Watch what you're saying.
Watch what you're doing.
Watch your habits.
Watch your character.

And lastly, just watch yourself crying in the end.

2009-06-29T01:45:00.004+08:00

It's around us.
It's everywhere.
None of us can be free.
There's a lot of problems in this world.

When life problems come to you.
What you going to do.
Sit there and just hack care about it.
Or maybe you might as well solve it.

Look around you.
See what other people is coping with.
You might be count lucky.
Cause some are facing it harder.

Life has no smooth road for any of us.
There's a roughness as we go on and on.
Take it slowly and solve it.
There's always a solution.

No matter how big and tough your problem might be.
Get rid of it by taking one little step towards solution.
Do something about it.
Keep on trying.

Don't runaway from problems.
How long can you runaway from it.
Every path has it own way.
Overcome it.

2009-06-28T02:10:00.004+08:00

Clock is ticking.
From day to night.
Time pass by real quick.
Age getting older day by day.

Thinking for the future.
Who you want to be?
What kind of life you want?
And a lot of questions stuck in your head.

Scared looking older.
Scared having wrinkles.
Scared growing of white hair.
Scared having different kind of sickness.

Enjoy life to the fullest.
Experience a lot of different things.
Do what you want to do now.
Do all that before you get older.

2009-06-23T19:36:00.009+08:00

The whole day will be yours.
To you people that are happy.
Only an hour is yours when you're down.
You'll just lose it.

Spend your free time with your love one's.
Be it your family, friends or lover.
That's one of the way to avoid feeling down.
You feel much better.

Enjoy your journey.
Enjoy every moment.
Enjoy every minute with someone you love.
And stop worrying about anything else.

Share your fun and laughter.
Don't be scared to laugh out loud.
You're the one happy.
You're the one enjoying.

The day is yours at the end.
Fill your life as many moments of joy.
Happiness is excitement.
It's part of your life.

2009-06-21T01:13:00.004+08:00

Be nobody but yourself.
Be yourself in this world.
You're already a grown up.
Be who you really are.

Wherever you go.
Whatever you do.
Listen to your heart.
Follow what your heart says.
Ask your heart a questions.
Listen to the answer that your heart give you.

Let someone know who you really are.
Not as you think you should be.
Do not follow others.
That's just not you.
Be what you are.

2009-06-20T01:56:00.006+08:00

Work hard to deal with thing.
You have it and the problem it brings.
When you finally get control of this problems.
Everyone around you seems to watch you in a different ways.

You never learn why it happened to you.
Work more harder to make dreams come true.
If you did fall again, get up on your feet and try again.
It's part of life. Don't give up on yourself.

There's a lot of problems in life.
Life is built on a lot of problems.
Try to handle it by yourself.
Don't always call on someone for help.
You should help yourself to stand up on your two feet.

Go through life willingly.
Even if it feels hurt and pain.
Suicide is a never answer.
It won't solve anything.

Treasure your life.
Be strong and move on.
Do not hurt your love ones.
You can do it, sure you will.

2009-06-15T21:08:00.003+08:00

Speak out when you're angry.
Show them who you really are.
They're just a small fly.
Give a big fat 'F' word in their face.
Don't think that you're going to get booed easily.

Try not to always keep it to yourself.
It'll only make you more angrier inside.
Stop giving them face.
They'll step on it times again.
Learn to let it out.
Stay up and fight.

If you think you're as fierce as a lion, you're wrong.
If you think you're great, you're wrong.
Absolutely all wrong.
You all are just a piece of shits.

Doesn't mean they keep quiet, they are scared.
They are just giving you face.
There's a patience to a limit.
They can make you drop on your knees.
You'll never know, people.

2009-06-15T02:35:00.005+08:00

Life is full of ups and down.
Sometimes you'll go as high as you can.
And sometimes you'll fall from head to heals.

Life is full of obstacles.
Use obstacles as a stepping stone.
Build your life that you really want it to be.

Take it slowly.
Take one step at a time.
It won't be that easy for you.

Overcome it.
Don't give up if you fall times again.
Keep on trying till you get what you want.

2009-06-12T03:13:00.005+08:00

Life is lived in the present.
Yesterday is already gone.
Tomorrow is yet to be.
Who knows, today miracle might happen.

Look ahead.
Maybe something sweet might happen to you.
Forget about all bitterness that happened.
Everyday is a brand new day.
Don't forget to cherish the gift each moment bring.

Live your life in light
Be thankful of what you got.
Don't look back, it'll only hurt you.
Make the most of every moment you got.

2009-06-11T00:42:00.004+08:00

Trust your feelings and take the chances.
Losing and finding happiness.
Appreciate what you got.
Learn from the past.
Realize that people change.

Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get.
But in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted.
Love your life and your life will love you back.
Love people around you and they will love you back.

Love life and love people around you! ^^

2009-06-09T20:45:00.006+08:00

As we grow up,
We learn to open our eyes to see what's good and bad.
Having your own interest in life.
You'll fall in love with someone.
You'll have a broken heart or eternity.
And you'll cry because time is flying by.

Dream what you want to dream.
Go where you want to go.
Be what you want to be.
Because you have only one life.
And one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Stay up till late.
Laugh as much as you can.
Love like you've never been in love before.
Staring at the blue sky.
Eating junk food.
Eating ice creams on a hot sunny day.
Smile until your face hurts.

Tell someone what they mean to you.
Hold someone's hand instead.
Don't go for looks, they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth, even that fades away.
Go for someone who really love you.
Go for someone who makes you smile.
Because it takes only a smile to make a black day seem to be white.

Try not to be afraid to take chances.
Life comes with no guarantees.
And most of all, you just have to live life to the fullest.

2009-06-09T02:18:00.007+08:00

The day was spent with just the both of us.
Had a movie date at The Cathay.
Had dinner at Marina Square.
Chilling at Esplanade.
Left before midnight.
No interruptions were made.

Everything goes smoothly even though we didn't have a proper plan.
Full of giggling and laughter.
Talking crap with her is like always.
It sounds pathetic, but fuck it. Who cares?
As long we are happy. Right you?

I really don't mind if you want to be out with just the both of us.
It's easier for us to communicate and stuff though.
Yes, i'm serious.
Really don't mind.
I'm happy if you're happy. ^^
You're welcome love.

Movie theater and the train.
I really don't mind it.
Yes, i'm sure of it.
Don't have to ask me.
As long you're comfortable.
Fuck it if friends saw.
They'll keep quiet when they are tired. :)

And to all my friends out there.
Hope you understand why i don't want any interruptions.
You know what kind of person am i.
A lot of drawing on my body, but shy.
Kinda weird, i know.
That's me and that's how i am.
I miss you all.

2009-06-07T17:35:00.008+08:00

Feelings getting stronger by each day.
First, only notice you at Raffles.
Thought i'll be just seeing you around there.
Thought we'll just be a hi-bye friends.
Remembered friends and me fetching someone.
I didn't really know who. Reached there and i saw you.
Shocked, kinda happy to see you.
On the day itself, when i got home.
Someone text me. And that someone is you.
Still remember what you asked me
From that topic we jump to another topic.
Day after day of contact, we did say we like each other.
I'm scared to say though. Everyone knows why.
We date each other. Wanted to keep it low, and end up, some already know.
Yeah, and there they go teasing and disturbing me.
I just have to bear with it because, they will stop when their mouth already tired.
Date, date, date, date, date, date, date, date, date, date and date.
I'm having some problems. Not only me with a problem, others too.
I did some stupid shits. Scared to tell her. And we didn't talk much.
Gather all my guts to tell her what i did. She did nag and mad at me.
From the nagging and mad at me, the word fallen for you did came out.
From there the 3 word is being use again by me and you.
The lonely and sad feeling is gone.
I did fall the last time and sick of getting in love again.
But fuck it, give it a shot. Doesn't mean you fall before, you going to give up.
All we need is time, time, time and time. Don't have to rush right?

So fuck the past and be happy and treasure with what you have now. ^^
Who knows we'll be walking together holding hands.

2009-06-06T21:35:00.007+08:00

It's just a flash back in mind.
My past was really sucks. I've wasted my time.
Did a lot of bad things.
It's stupid to do all that.
I've hurt my family feelings.
Especially mum.
It's quite sad to think back what i did.
I've made her tears roll down her cheeks.
2 months going to be home, and i fly to other place.
(Some of you know what i'm trying to say.)
She actually said to me in a low and sobbing tone,
"If you don't think of coming home, it's okay. But, think of your mum here."
She cried. I hug her and tears dropping, saying that i'll be thinking of you and will be home real soon.

And now, for the past 1 and the half year, i'm already home.
I did quite well and hope it goes on and on.
Don't want to repeat my mistakes again.
Had enough of making my love ones upset.
I don't want to waste my time like what i did before.
Like seriously.

Doesn't mean you are bad, you're always going to be bad.
Doesn't mean you're good, you're always going to be good.

People do change and people can change.
From bad to good, or good to bad.
It's up to you to decide. Only you can decide.
Others can't decide for you. The decision is in your hand.
Think of your love ones and treasure them.

Do you think that making your mum tears drop is a good or cool feeling?
Do you think you will be smiling or laughing after you saw your mum cried?
You get it wrong. Fuck you if you did say yes! You're just heartless.
You just have no idea how pain your heart can be to see her cry.

Sorry for everything mum. I love you.

2009-06-05T08:23:00.006+08:00

Ton at East Coast Park.
Felt happy just now.
Had fun and laughter together.
Feeling with the wind there.
Joke around with each other.
Only Ajie know, Faez know about that water.
Chilling around.
Some already tired.
Went off at around 6 plus i guess.
Bused home.

Later going out again.
Gig and then accompany her ton for audition.
Please don't disturb me.
We rarely communicate.
So this is the time to make it up with her.
So yah, don't disturb me.
Or else, i don't want to friend you.
Chill uh, fake only!

And, didn't i told you before,
That friends are not avoiding each other.
Friends won't be drifting apart.
Like seriously, it's just your feelings.
So yah, they won't.
They're still there.

And that's all for today.
I'm dead beat right now, still can post.
Pffts.

2009-06-03T23:12:00.010+08:00

Supposing, you have tried and failed again and again.
You give yourself the name 'Failure'.
'Failure' is not falling down, but staying down.
You may have a fresh start any moment you choose.
Push yourself up.
Don't be afraid.
Give up is a no.
Be strong in life.
Always.

Everyone have their own difficulties.
I'm sure they can overcome it.
All they need is just time.

Stay happy always.
Treasure our happiness let us not forget it.
For one of the greatest lessons in life, is to learn how to be happy.
With or without the things we cannot or should not have. And, happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

2009-06-02T00:36:00.009+08:00

Guess everything is going to be fine.
Being like myself again like before.
Someone miss the cheerful sight of me.
I guess.
Miss laughing around.
Miss talking crap with friends.
Let out everything.
But this month sucks.
Everyone seems to have problems.
After one another.
Fuck that!

Don't think that i'm avoiding/pushing you away.
Don't think negatively again.
Don't hide feelings/problems to yourself again.
I'm here.
Don't like to see you moodless at time.
Feel sucky seeing you like that.
Told you everything what happen and stuff.
Now that you already know everything.
Now that i already know everything.
Hope everything is going to be alright.
All we need is time.

I'm alright with her for your info!
Quarrel is a no.
Nothing wrong between us.
Just that i have my own shits.
Stop jumping on conclusion.

To Muss,
Bro, i hope you're alright.
I hope everything is going to be alright.
Don't stress yourself up.
No need for apologies if you didn't turn up just now.
I understand.
Settle your problem first.
Take good care of yourself.

To Fikri,
Hey!
Know it from Ramdan.
Just chill.
Don't stress up yourself.
Don't be stupid and do shits when you stress.
It won't solve your problem.
Take good care of yourself too.
Cheer up!

2009-05-31T22:48:00.005+08:00

Past Present

Past, last time,

Fuck it, past is sucks.
May be happy together not till you've lied and stuff.
I'm pissed with myself for trusting and do almost everything for you.
Regretted i guess. Everything go down the drain. Fuck it!
Almost get angry each and everyday because of your little stupid mistake.
Always, most of the time not in the mood.
Yes, sometimes we're happy together.
And what more, you lied.
Giving chances and time to gain back my trust.
Yeah you did, and again, you repeat it.
Broke up is a never you said.
Love me, is till eternity you said.
That just a word from you.
Broke up, yeah, i'm stupid to use that word. I didn't mean it. I know myself.
I came back to you though. I even cried like a stupid dog.
You pushed me away.
I keep on begging for you to stay, still you wouldn't want to stay.
I remembered you saying that you won't use the word i love you to me anymore.
I remembered you telling me that you fond or maybe love other guy.
I remembered you telling me that you doubt that you'll ever come back to me.
I remembered you telling me that you loved me before.
I remembered all the past we've been through.
Everything. The good and the bad.
You don't even know how i move on.
It's hard to move on if you want to know.
It's really hard to move on.
I depends on friends.
I cried infront of friends when i told them why we broke up.
They try their best to cheer me up when they saw i'm alittle sad.
In the night, i cried in my own fucking room.
Whats the point of crying when i know that you don't/won't love me anymore.
Fuck everything! It's all wasted.

Present, now,

As i go on, i'm happy with myself.
Known alot of new friends.
Going on well.
Friends are all around me.
They occupied my time.
Full of nonsense and laughter.
Doing silly things and stuff.
Talking crap till we laugh out loud.
Spending time on music.
Walking around here and there.
Slacking at somewhere.
I did laugh here and there.
And i did forget my past.
Almost all but some still there.
I keep on laughing with them around.
I found someone i like.
But yah, i did learnt my lesson from the past.
I really did.
Just that i'm scared to get into relationship.
Like what her and i said, all we need is time.
We don't have to rush. There's no need to rush.
I'm happy with myself now.

What do you want?
Let everything out. Hurry.
You have him already, why keep coming to me?
You regret? I don't think so.
For what you even even care and said you sometimes wonder, am i alright or not.
It's hard to forget huh?
Yes, it's hard for me too.
I did try to forget and everything is alright now.
I can do it, so do you.
Hiding to text me.
Scared? Scared he will know.
Told you before, i remember what i've said to you.
Why can't you listen?
Now you're not mine. I can't help you that much if you're down or having some problems.
Turn to him, not me. He is yours now, not me. Like seriously.
Don't break his heart. Think of his feeling. Think about others feeling.
Like those tags on my tagboard.
Saying i miss you so much.
She know who is it. Even i didn't tell her.
I feel bad. She know herself who is it.
She jealous of it.
Yeah she told me. Who won't get jealous of it.
Told you before.
That's what i meant, think of others feeling.
I wouldn't want to hurt others feeling about all this shits.
Please, treasure what you have now.

Here i'm saying sorry if it hurt your feeling.
I don't have a choice. I've been asking my friend how and stuff.
They did ask me to don't ignore. Just get to the point.
I'm ignoring because i know you'll feel sad or even suck.
I know it'll hurt your feeling.
Getting back together is a no way. If you got the thinking of that uh.
You loved him, so just ignore about me.
I'm moving on well with her and friends around me.
Just think of everyone's feeling. They have feelings too.
I hope you realized it. No point regretting.
Just move on with what you got.
Don't worry about me. I'm always fine.
Just take care and be good to him. That's all.

I'm done now.

2009-05-31T03:11:00.006+08:00

Every minute you are thinking of doing bad, you might have been thinking of good instead.
Refuse to choose interest on your own.
I can just tell you that I'm sorry, and i think some people do understand.

Not in the mood that much.

2009-05-30T03:39:00.003+08:00

Don't know why.
Sometime i'm happy and sometime i'm down like so suddenly.
I'm not avoiding you guys.
I'm not changing.
I'm still the same old me.

I feel so guilty.
I've been hiding something from you guys.
Some already knew it.
I might be happy and look normal like how i used to be.
But deep inside me, you don't know how guilty i am.
You people can say i have attitude problem or whatever shit it is.
I don't care what you want to say.
You just don't understand. I don't have the guts to tell you guys.
I'm scared that you feel angry, sad or hurt.
I know you people concern. I appreciate it a lot.
Sooner or later maybe you'll find out yourself.
But please, don't nag at me. :(

To someone:
Please don't be sad or stress about shits.
Ignore what people say as long you're being yourself and you're happy.
People have been asking why i'm like this and that never communicate with you that much.
I'm sorry if you think that way too.
You're good.

For friendship:
Don't think that we are drifting apart.
Don't make it happen.
I love you friends.

2009-05-28T22:01:00.005+08:00

Even this small kid can show a middle finger to people like you who don't know the meaning of respect.

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that.
If you can't love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to make that happen.
I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking about me. All i'm asking for is, respect me as a human being.
Being clever, brilliant, proud of yourself for something good that you do is not great if you respect nothing.
Treat others as you want them to treat you because what goes around comes around.

Don't you know what i'm trying to say?
It's "RESPECT".

It's not funny.
Stop being stupid.
Fuck you people who did that today!

2009-05-27T21:55:00.005+08:00

Today sucks.
Not really in the mood.

Can't wake up in the morning.
Rushing against time.
School getting bored.
My attendance dropping day after day.
People ranting at me. I know you all meant well.
I appreciate it.

Holiday, come quick.
Can't wait any longer.
Sorry Muss for not joining you watch soccer tonight.
Thanks a lot to Fahmy and Kiki. (You both know about what.)

Sometimes we have to learn to accept friendship. And learn to be a friend in return.
Accept for who they are. Friendship is beautiful. Peace. :)

2009-05-25T18:19:00.005+08:00

In this globe,

There's a lot of different people.
Some are rich, some are poor.
Some are bad, some are good.
There's no one perfect in this globe.

People with tattoos and piercings,
Are they bad?
Are they uneducated?
Are they worthless?
Are they meant to be looked down at?

Why can't you people, change your point of view towards them?
Who are you to judge them?
Who are you to criticize them?

They're just a normal human being like you guys. They also do have feelings.
Do you consider their feelings towards the way you criticize them?
No, i don't think you ever thought of that.
You're just selfish.

Have you ever thought that if the same thing were to happen to you, how would you feel?
Fuck you if you say that you feel nothing when it happens to you!

And this post is also for you guys who experience the same thing as me. :)

2009-05-23T03:11:00.003+08:00

Hey there peeps,

Firstly, want to fanks to my Sofie pulak for helping me to edit everything on my blog.
Fanks you a lot. Appreciate it, you. =)

Here's a flash back i had in mind.

Let's talk about friends today. Best friends.

This is for you, my best friend,
the one person i can talk to
Who i can laugh with to no extents,
Who can cheer me up when i'm down,
Who can help me with the problems i had.

And i love you for listening to me
And i look up too you because, you're caring.
Even though you don't think you are.

And i hope you know that i am always here
To listen to you laugh and cry and when you need help
In all the ways that i can
And i will try to be at least half the friend you are to me.

I hope you know i would not be the person i am today, with out you.
My best friend.

Fank you friend for being there for me, especially Ramdan.
Fanks a lot. =)

2009-05-21T23:39:00.003+08:00

Wassup peeps!

First of all, i like to fanks Mussybart for helping me to create blog yesterday.
Really appreciate it, bro.

Today, went to school at 1pm. No lesson in the morning. Cuaca hot sia today.
End at 3pm, i want to go City hall to buy shirts. Ask Ramdan (So called, twinnie. Padahal muke jauh beza. Haha), to accompany me.
Fank you, twin.

Walk around to survey stuff. Walk here, walk there, walk everywhere and we pass to this tattoo shop. "Acid crue", that's the name of the shop.
Kiwak! We saw this one cheena girl doing a black art on her sleeves. Make it simple, she did a whole black shading on her sleeves.
Cool uh sia. Don't believe, can ask Ramdan.
The fact is, i'm alittle jealous of it. That is what i wanted to do from last time, till now never do, so saddening.
Hmm, stayed there for like few minutes to see the guy do that black shading for the cheena girl sleeves, then we leave.
Trained home.

Not forgotten, while in train. This stupid indian couples actually look at me one kind. They first look at my face then down to my tattooed hand.
First is a women who looked at me. Then i saw her whispering to her guy. And guess what, the guy quickly turn and looked at me.
I don't know what that women whisper to her guy till her guy turn and look at me quickly.
Maybe they never seen a tattooed guy going school before, maybe they thot people with tattoos give up on education and stuff. I don't know.

But here i'm telling you,
Doesn't mean people with tattoo can't go to school.
Doesn't mean people with tattoo, they're bad and whatever negative thinking you've got.
They may look bad from the outside. But, you won't know wheather they're good or bad inside.
Stop looking down on them.
Not all peeps with tattoos are bad.

Stop your hypocrite. Stop critisizing people. Face youself infront of the mirror.